Day 3

Do you need diet motivation? I think I just found the best motivation of all. Have a relative take a picture of you with your butt angled in the direction of the camera on a day when you are a hot mess and then without warning post it on Facebook. It has just happened to me and let me tell you.. it's motivating. Motivating to strangle the relative and motivating to lose the weight and show all of Facebook you don't really look like that. Actually the first reaction was delete my profile on Facebook and then die but I'm trying to put a positive spin on this. Last week the kids and I went on a camping trip with my side of the family. One day we were hiking all day long, I had a 25 lb baby strapped to my back passed out for most of it, I was hot so I rolled my jeans up to my calves, the baby likes to tuck his toes into my waistband which forces my jeans to hang dangerously now.. It was not pretty. It was at this point that my mom took a picture of my sister and I.. and then posted the picture on Facebook a week later with the caption "Sisterly love. Sorry girls I just had to post this." Then 2 hours later she figured out how to tag people in a picture.. so she tagged me. Thanks to my settings it instantly showed up on my feed where I discovered it the next morning. yay I look.. horrible. I look huge. I'm absolutely horrified I look that big. I look at myself every morning in the mirror but I never thought I was that big. Granted it's the least flattering angle in a horrible pose but still. It makes me 100 times more motivated than I was when I started this. I will never look like that again. The lower carb/less processed carbs is agreeing with me. I'm already down to 185.2. I know some of it is water weight but my appetite is under control. I feel satisfied and I don't feel like I'm denying myself. I have some really strange food triggers though. At least I think they are strange because I've never heard anyone talk about food triggers therefore I assume it's my own little deal. For instance Rite Aid. Just walking into the drugstore is a trigger. I think this is a result of the buy one get one free candy bars. I go in grab a perscription and buy one get one free! Free?? Why yes thank you. Only last night I said.. no. nooooo NO and threw hostile looks at the candy display which I'm pretty sure both amused and slightly frightened the 12 yr old clerk behind the counter. But I walked out of there without any candy so.. win! Tractor supply. I had to go in there to grab pig feed yesterday and what greeted me? A new variety of old timey jelly bean flavors. Oh and old timey candy at the checkout.. oh and giant vats of all things edible and delicious. I blame this on my inability to say no to old timey deliciously odd candies. Like Gooey Clusters or oddly colored stripped coconut pressed into a bar or well candy you just can't find anywhere else. I have to try it.. it could be delicious! Yesterday I didn't. Instead I sniffed my pig feed through the dreaded checkout area of doom. It helped. Sure.. I thought I would never want to eat again and then wondered why the pigs go nuts for the stuff but eh.. I didn't buy old timey candy. The clerk there probably also thinks I'm insane but I see her often enough that she'd already figured that out. Every day I just say no to candy and processed carbs and carbage (I love that word) the more odd things I'm finding about myself. Like the 8 pm sweets craving. Why? I'm putting the kids to bed and all of a sudden I have the urge to run to the kitchen and make motor boat noises into the remaining half of hubbies birthday cake. I don't.. but I want to. Then I have images in my head of that kid on Matilda that is forced to eat the chocolate cake and I think.. I could totally do that! But I don't. I could but I don't because well.. I want to have a sexy butt and now I have a picture I stole from Facebook on my phone to look at anytime I question wanting Carbage.